Writing: Speeches
Platonic Friendships – letter to E. NYC. 2008
… the only way for a man and a woman to get REALLY close, to be close friends for life, soul-friends, really take care of each other, is to "visit in each other's body". Yes. The physical unification of a man and a woman, being enwrapped in each other's body and having a physical contact, is the deepest form of unification they can have (and that’s why Tantric sex is one of the highest SPIRITUAL practices a couple can have to reach their highest spiritual goals. Not physical. Spiritual. In fact, the time of a sexual orgasm, is one of the few times in a human life when prana, the life energy, enters the Shushumna - our central energy channel in the body, which opens up all our chakras... but that's a whole lecture on its own…). So only when a man and a woman clear their sexual tension and energy out of the way, then pure deep things can happen. Without it, it’s always going to be somewhat shallow, and as long as that sexual tension is there, it’s clouding things and not letting them go deeper.
That’s why I cannot be a really close friend with a woman, whether I am attracted to her or not, unless we went through this stage, and went to that deep place, and deep connection, and then cleared it out of the way. As you know, it’s a place of trust, of respect, of taking care, of ... love, and only after you get there, and after you either stay there or clear it out of the way, you can be on that level of a deep connection and friendship. Not for nothing, this connection is stronger a lot of the times than the connection we have with our siblings or parents... it’s this ultimate secure, trusting long hug you can only have with a lover. And once you have it, that's it, you are bound for life...
That’s how it is with me, and I have tried, ever since I was 20, many types of friendships with women, and this is the only type that really works for me. My good female friends are the ones I had this with. My other female friends, with whom I didn’t have it, are just not that close. And it can’t go there.
Maybe this is trivial for you, or maybe you disagree with it, but
when I have a good initial connection with a girl, my natural tendency is to TRY, just to TRY, to go there, ‘cause I know intuitively how much deeper and more intense and good it makes the connection. And it stays for life. But I also understand your fear of going there. Totally. It’s a big thing, and it may have major repercussions… you might earn a good close friend for life. You might think that you will loose them also because of that, but no, they are always back. In fact, they never left... you shared god's ultimate gift in this world, in the most profound way, and that can never go to waste… acting and all the art that we all wanna do, is about this SAME contact... we all want so much to connect with people's hearts, it gives us so much joy... but you know how temporary and quick and 'shallow' it is... it is never quite fulfilling. Because it’s always on one level. That’s why in the 60's many theatre innovators tried all kinds of ritual /sex theatre modes to connect between themselves, and with the audience. The strongest group experiences the human can have, are of this atavistic, primitive, raw, almost sexual nature. Religious. Like big religious masses, or Rock concerts. Have you ever been ? I've been to many. It’s something out of this world, the energy, the unity, which then transforms into love and connection... But oopppss... got carried away a bit. Well, I hope you know what I mean and can relate to what I say...
I recognized something in you that I would have liked to have for the rest of my life maybe, and I am proud that I recognized it in you the first time we looked at each other and you smiled and nodded ! I knew you were that kind of human being I can connect to and like and care for. So... I was willing to explore it further, and maybe gain a friend for life. Without it, as I said, for me, it will only stay on a certain level, if at all. The tension is there, and the dissatisfaction is there, and it will wither with time, but with it everything else might wither... I don’t know how long I will find the energy and reason to write poems to you. I don't know how long you will find the energy to write. I don’t know how long we will feel this need we now have to have this ‘kinda close friend’. The nature of this energy is that it goes, like water, to the place where there is the least resistance, and the most accepting ground... so I wanted to save that, before it runs somewhere else... but, I guess that’s the nature of things, and it takes 2 to tango, and I am too big for my breeches and you know on which side of the bread the butter is on, and ... I have no clue what I am saying anymore...
That’s why I cannot be a really close friend with a woman, whether I am attracted to her or not, unless we went through this stage, and went to that deep place, and deep connection, and then cleared it out of the way. As you know, it’s a place of trust, of respect, of taking care, of ... love, and only after you get there, and after you either stay there or clear it out of the way, you can be on that level of a deep connection and friendship. Not for nothing, this connection is stronger a lot of the times than the connection we have with our siblings or parents... it’s this ultimate secure, trusting long hug you can only have with a lover. And once you have it, that's it, you are bound for life...
That’s how it is with me, and I have tried, ever since I was 20, many types of friendships with women, and this is the only type that really works for me. My good female friends are the ones I had this with. My other female friends, with whom I didn’t have it, are just not that close. And it can’t go there.
Maybe this is trivial for you, or maybe you disagree with it, but
when I have a good initial connection with a girl, my natural tendency is to TRY, just to TRY, to go there, ‘cause I know intuitively how much deeper and more intense and good it makes the connection. And it stays for life. But I also understand your fear of going there. Totally. It’s a big thing, and it may have major repercussions… you might earn a good close friend for life. You might think that you will loose them also because of that, but no, they are always back. In fact, they never left... you shared god's ultimate gift in this world, in the most profound way, and that can never go to waste… acting and all the art that we all wanna do, is about this SAME contact... we all want so much to connect with people's hearts, it gives us so much joy... but you know how temporary and quick and 'shallow' it is... it is never quite fulfilling. Because it’s always on one level. That’s why in the 60's many theatre innovators tried all kinds of ritual /sex theatre modes to connect between themselves, and with the audience. The strongest group experiences the human can have, are of this atavistic, primitive, raw, almost sexual nature. Religious. Like big religious masses, or Rock concerts. Have you ever been ? I've been to many. It’s something out of this world, the energy, the unity, which then transforms into love and connection... But oopppss... got carried away a bit. Well, I hope you know what I mean and can relate to what I say...
I recognized something in you that I would have liked to have for the rest of my life maybe, and I am proud that I recognized it in you the first time we looked at each other and you smiled and nodded ! I knew you were that kind of human being I can connect to and like and care for. So... I was willing to explore it further, and maybe gain a friend for life. Without it, as I said, for me, it will only stay on a certain level, if at all. The tension is there, and the dissatisfaction is there, and it will wither with time, but with it everything else might wither... I don’t know how long I will find the energy and reason to write poems to you. I don't know how long you will find the energy to write. I don’t know how long we will feel this need we now have to have this ‘kinda close friend’. The nature of this energy is that it goes, like water, to the place where there is the least resistance, and the most accepting ground... so I wanted to save that, before it runs somewhere else... but, I guess that’s the nature of things, and it takes 2 to tango, and I am too big for my breeches and you know on which side of the bread the butter is on, and ... I have no clue what I am saying anymore...
